Staying Connected
Operating independently, confining relationships to a small circle of like minded people
Don’t go it alone. Life’s challenges will test and stretch your personal resources. Don’t make life any more difficult than it can be by distancing yourself from those who can help you. Draw on the support of like-minded individuals who can empathise with your problems and can share their own experiences. You may disagree with their advice but it will provide a good sounding board to help you rethink your ideas. Don’t assume that you are alone are right in dismissing the contribution of others. Put your thinking to the test through debate and dialogue with a variety of people from different backgrounds and walks of life.
Recognise the “law of the few”.Some people in life are much more influential than others. The “connectors” are particularly important. “Connectors” are those people who seem to know everyone or know someone who knows someone else who knows someone else. Connectors can access a wide range of individuals from different backgrounds. Know the “connectors” within your matrix of relationships and draw on their networks to extend your own sphere of influence. Are you a connector? www.gladwell.com/tippingpoint
The next person you meet may transform your life. Each day we encounter a range of people, those we know well and probably take for granted, those we are getting to know better and those we’re meeting for the first time. Each of these encounters has the potential to make a fundamental difference to our lives. The trouble is we don’t know which encounter will make that difference. You won’t get every interpersonal encounter right every time. But don’t keep getting it wrong. One of these encounters one day will make the difference.
“Head, hands and shoulders”: a people-picking formula. When evaluating others – recruiting a team, setting up a new project, etc - look for "head, hands, and shoulders." Head is your estimate of the person's business IQ. How smart are they? Hands is a measure of skills. Are they just good enough for the job at hand or good enough to help us grow? Shoulders asks how much responsibility you can delegate. The more they can handle, the more they develop, and the more muscle you develop to build the business. www.adlerconcepts.com
Keep in touch with old friends and work colleagues. It is much more difficult to re-establish contact when you need others’ help than it is to maintain ongoing relationships. Don’t burn bridges with those you have grown up with, socialised and worked with. Send birthday and Christmas cards, newspaper clippings, web links etc that might interest them. And call every now and again to keep in touch.
Put names to faces. Work through the list of people you have met in the last week, month and quarter. Can you remember who you met? Their names? Can you visualise what they look like? Can you remember anything else that is significant about them? If not, you will find it difficult to develop and maintain networks of influence. When you meet people for the first time, look and listen. Check that you’ve heard their name properly. Use mnemonics to heighten your powers of observation and memory. Jot down notes in your diary. Talk to others about whom you’ve met, describing them in detail – how they looked and sounded, their personality – to consolidate your memory. Whatever method you use, make it a priority to remember names and faces. www.buildyourmemory.com
Make others feel special. Much of the time business life is conducted at a superficial level. Take the time and make the effort to make your key contacts – colleagues, clients, customers and suppliers – feel truly valued. Get to know them and what matters to them. It is the willingness to discover the specifics and uniqueness of the individuals you encounter which will make you memorable. Few other people make the effort.
Get to know the background of your key business and life contacts, above all, their family circumstances. A favour for the children of a client or supplier you want to impress is much more powerful than anything you can do for the individual. Don’t get so caught up in the immediate task at hand that you don’t take the time to find out more about the lives of your contacts and how you may help the people that are important in their lives. Keep notes of your key contacts to build a detailed database of their interests and life-styles.
Ask for help. The request for assistance isn’t an indication of incompetency or failure. It is the good sense to recognise that others have the experience and skills to make your life easier. And others will appreciate the implicit flattery. Don’t keep digging a bigger hole. Pick up the phone and share your problems. Don’t depress others with your difficulties, but ask for specific and practical advice.
You get what you give. Networking is not attending conferences to swap business cards with other delegates. Most of the time, this is a waste of time. Look instead to make a difference on others’ lives by giving those you meet the kind of information, ideas and contacts that will help them. It is true that some will exploit this, taking but not giving in return. But most, and the kind of individuals you want to do business with in future, won’t. And when you need assistance, they will remember you. www.changethis.com
Doing good for others is good for you. Get involved in voluntary and charitable activities. Don’t use time as an excuse. (Research indicates that those with the most time on their hands do less charity work and the busiest in life participate in most voluntary activity). Apart from helping make a positive and practical contribution within your community, it brings you into contact with others from different walks of life. It will also raise your own confidence and life satisfaction.
Find a mentor who is a role model of what you want to achieve in life. Don’t see this individual as the solution to your problems. But do draw on their experience and wisdom to help you avoid making the obvious mistakes of life. A good mentor can also utilise their connections to “open doors” for you, bringing you into contact with those who can help advance your goals. www.personneltoday.com
Networking that isn’t networking. If networking conjures up an image of self-advancing delegates earnestly swapping business cards, an image that leaves you cold, then rethink the fundamentals of effective networking. Build an authentic network of contacts by asking those meet: “what are you working on?” and “what can I do to help?” Do it with sincerity and your network will grow and thrive. changethis.com
Don’t work with friends. Keep your business life completely separate from your family and social life. Socialise with and entertain work colleagues but don’t attempt to form deep-seated intimate friendships. And don’t bring your family or friends into the work place. Business relationships are complicated enough without the added dynamics and sensitivities of family or friends.
Use the “law of attraction”. When you are open minded and responsive to others, genuinely attentive to their interests and needs, you will attract into your life the ideas, people and resources which will advance your goals. There is no magic here. There is the simple psychological principle that “like attracts like”. And success will gravitate to success. When you block life out, others will avoid you