Life Dynamics

Power of Charm

Why this tactic matters
First impressions matter. A confident and self-assured manner establishes credibility and reassures others of your capability. An insight into others’ expectations, and at times their vulnerabilities and insecurities, allows you to adapt your approach to articulate a persuasive and convincing position. The Power of Charm wins others around to your cause, gains their backing and makes those you interact with feel positive about you and themselves.

Finding it difficult to make an impact in unfamiliar social situations, or in the spotlight of attention, and not maximising interpersonal influence		Making a positive impression on others, engaging their interest and making a persuasive impact

First impressions count Operate above yourself The 9 opening lines of effective conversation Avoid the conversational “show stoppers” Practice your conversational skills I’m sorry, was I speaking while you were interrupting? Be interested rather than “interesting” The question no one wants to ask or answer Don’t live in your own world, obsessed with your own concerns and priorities Things to say only when you mean them Watch your body language People pull, scratch, rub, tug, adjust, twitch and squirm If others aren’t getting it, it’s your problem not their’s High concept in the elevator Notice the little things and give praise freely Don’t be the bearer of bad news The chameleon and the leopard Never, ever, under any circumstance, criticise anyone publicly Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated Watch out for excessive praise It’s always showtime		Warhol’s Law Speak with power Use flattery effectively Be courteous to produce results What’s the difference between checkers and chess?” Know who you are up against Don’t overdo it Ask the stupid questions that others don’t Prepare. Don’t “wing it” Know when and how to let others take the praise Where’s the beef? Know how to shift others’ opinions Master the three key tools of communication life Understate to manage expectations

Disraeli’s Seductive Charm
Benjamin Disraeli, Jewish, dark-skinned, a flamboyant dandy and writer of romantic novels, did not seem to be the kind of individual who would become a pillar of the political establishment in Victorian England. His maiden speech in the House of Commons in 1837 was poorly received. After enduring a great deal of jeering and barracking, he ended with the words, “though I sit down now, the time will come when you will hear me.” By 1874, he was a favourite of the Queen, leader of the Conservative party and after his defeat of his long-standing adversary, Gladstone, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Quite some political recovery.

One princess remarked, “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.” Disraeli understood the power of charm.

Charm is a powerful force, a force with the potential to engage those sympathetic to your beliefs, to persuade the undecided, and over-turn opposition from your adversaries. But charm, like any other tactic, has its hazards – tactical and strategic. As Disraeli remarked, "I have climbed to the top of the greasy pole." A recognition perhaps that interpersonal influence, no matter how skilfully deployed, can lose authenticity and become self-seeking.

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